Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:05] Speaker B: Hello and welcome to the Solopreneur Sisterhood podcast. A podcast designed to help heart centered service providers like you build a purposeful, profitable and sustainable business that supports what matters most to you. I'm your host, Becky McCleary and I am so grateful that you are here.
[00:00:23] Speaker A: Hello and welcome. I am so glad that you are here. So today we are talking all about having a mindset for success. So if you know me, if you have worked with me at all, you know that most of the time I'm all about strategy and systems and kind of what we need to do to get you to where you want to be, to bring your big ideas to life. And while that is important, and I think that strategy and systems can help to speed up your journey, I also really believe that if you have, you could have the best strategy, you could have really ideal systems in place, but you might still get in your own way if you don't have the mindset that you need to succeed in business.
One of the things I think that is most challenging as a solopreneur is that it really is all on us. We can have great support systems in place, but if we don't believe in ourselves, if we doubt ourselves and second guess, we're going to get in our own way and create obstacles that don't necessarily need to be there.
And I say this with great love if you are experiencing this, because I have been there. And I think that this topic came to mind because I've realized recently how much I have grown in my mindset throughout my journey. So just briefly looking back, I know that I really slowed myself down. I didn't realize it at the time when I was starting out because I would have these big ideas and then I would work really hard to put them out there. And then when they didn't go according to plan, I would second guess myself, I would go into self doubt, I would tell myself, you know, this was the wrong plan, I need something else. I would jump to something else, uh, for another course that I needed to take or another offer I need to put out there or something different to do in marketing. And I just, I wasn't consistent in my journey. What would happen is I would go through this kind of journey where I would have this big idea, I would work really hard to put it out there and then I didn't see the results that I wanted and I would pull back. And I was pulling back really because of my mindset. It wasn't because of the results, it was because of what I was Telling myself about those results. I was telling myself things like, I'm just not cut out to do this, I'm not ready for this.
Just different things that looking back now, I wish that I had believed in myself enough to keep moving forward. Because what I have learned over time is that I think perseverance really is the key, that those who succeed in having their own business, persistence is this essential commitment, this essential value that they have is that it's not a matter of if we're going to succeed in business, it's just a matter of how and when. And so I will say too, I think one of the gifts on my journey is while I started off in that place of really struggling with self doubt and questioning everything I was doing when I found myself as an accidental virtual assistant. When someone I had met online who had become a friend asked me if I would support her in her business. She was an online business manager, which meant that she helped to run the back end of the business for a number of different successful business owners. These were for the most part, six figure business owners and they were successful. And so running the back end of the business, doing work behind the scenes, I was able to see what they were doing and what was working for them. And what really stuck out to me was that even though their businesses might be really different, what was consistent with all these business owners is that not everything they did succeeded. I think we have kind of this false belief that some of the people we kind of look up to in the online space that everything they do just works out and that's just not true. We don't see the whole journey, we don't see everything happening behind the scenes. So this role that I was in allowed me to see that not everything is succeeding and they didn't give up. It might be like, okay, this idea didn't pan out. What's next? Or this launch didn't go how I thought it was going to go. What else can I do to get people in the door? So they were always looking at, what can I do next. It wasn't a case of this didn't work out, I'm quitting. It was, okay, let's come up with a new idea, let's come up with a new way to reach people and move forward with that. And to me, that was just this huge change in my mindset from, okay, one, it's not just me. Everyone who's doing this is figuring it out as they go. And, and it doesn't matter what stage of business you're in Each new thing that you're doing in your business is the first time you've done it. You don't know what you're doing. And as prepared as you think you are, there are going to be things that come up that you weren't anticipating. And so a big key to success is having that ability to adapt and to look at things for opportunities rather than obstacles.
And so I think I've been seeing this a lot lately too, as I work with women who are in the earlier stages of their business, seeing, seeing them holding themselves back and kind of getting stuck in that cycle of second guessing and self doubt. And so there I've noticed a few common challenges. And even though there are numerous mindset topics we could dive into today, I wanted to go through four of these in case you can relate to any of them and whether you can identify yourself as struggling with any of these or not, I'm hoping that just these, this exercise of going through these will help you to think about how are you thinking about yourself, about your business, about your work, and is there an opportunity for you to shift part of your mindset in order to better support yourself on this journey? So let's dive in.
Okay, so one of the things I see most often, and I've seen this with newer business owners, but also those who are a little bit further along, is getting into this place where we feel overwhelmed, we feel scattered, we feel like we're going in all sorts of directions and there's just not enough time to do everything we need to do.
And what I see is there are, and I again say this with love because I can remember earlier in my business being busy, feeling like I was working all the time, but I wasn't really moving forward in my business.
We can find endless things that we need to do in our business.
And it doesn't necessarily mean that all, all of those things are going to move the needle in our business.
And so I think one of the things we have to teach ourselves to do is to be laser focused on what really matters in our business. And you're the one who decides what that is for you. And that will shift over time.
So, for example, if you are looking to get your first few clients, your top priority, what you need to be laser focused on is signing those clients. And so the question I would ask if I were in your position would be, okay, what, what can I do to bring in clients? How can I connect with clients? And when I ask myself these questions, instead of being in a state of overwhelm ideas Start to come to me and then that next step is to work on those ideas if you are feeling overwhelmed. Anytime I find myself getting into overwhelm, I come back to what matters most right now. And when I get clear on what are my top priorities, and I would limit that to three priorities tops, then it becomes clear what I need to do and everything else can just wait for now. And I know there's going to be that discomfort in not doing everything. But I promise that if you can focus on your top priorities, you will start seeing things move forward with greater ease in your business. We need to be able to set things aside or hold things off for a later date in order to prioritize what really matters most right now.
So the second thing I would go into, I think a lot of us hold ourselves back because we have unrealistic expectations.
We are, it's very easy. I think you can't be a business owner unless you're a dreamer. I think really like if you're going into business for yourself, you have to have this creativity and this imagination and this part of you that can see different possibilities.
And those are all gifts. And I love that. And at the same time, it can be a little bit of a hindrance to us because we have these great expectations and our mind is so focused on this ideal that we forget to come down to, okay, what is actually likely. So, for example, I had a client, we worked together for years. She came to me, she was so excited. She had this new idea. She's going to do this really low cost offer for people in her community. I can't remember the exact price, but let's say it was under $20 and she was going to sell it and it was going to sell to hundreds of people and she wanted to do it in the next two weeks.
I will also say that this client had an email list of probably about a thousand people or less at this time.
So I don't want to be the person to bring anyone down. But my question to her was, and I say this because I've been through it myself too, where you have this great idea and you think all these people are going to sign up and they don't. So I said to her, I said, this is great, I love this idea. How are you going to feel if you sell this, this exact offer, the price you're talking about and 10 people buy, will that feel as good to you as this, this ideal version you have in your head?
She's like, well, no, but that's not going to happen. And she went through with it. And she came back to me a couple weeks later and she's like, I should have known you were right. She said 10 people signed up and now I have to go through with it. So on the one hand, we want to celebrate every client you're able to support.
On the other hand, I think the whole lesson of the story is to give ourselves more realistic expectations. So, so what I have done and what I recommend to clients is we kind of have stepping stone goals. So as far as your mindset, what this means is you can have your ideal. You know, my dream goal would be to have 30 people sign up for this. I'm just throwing things out. Or my dream goal is to sign 10 clients next month.
But realistically, if you've never achieved what your dream goal is before, there's probably a part of you that has some resistance to that, and that's okay. And I will also say anyone who has been doing this work for a while knows that it, it takes more time and more effort to get larger numbers of people to join a program. It's always going to be easier to sign one client than for one on one work and than it is to sign 50 clients for.
But instead of just giving up on your dream, I like to kind of do those stepping stone goals. So maybe that the dream version is 30. I want 30 people to sign up for this program, or I want 10 people or one on one support.
But then step it down. And I would say, okay, at a bare minimum, what would I still feel good about with this offer? So if you're doing a group program and you think about the rate that you want to charge, what is your minimum number that you would want to sell, that you would still feel good at that price point? And if that minimum number is still feeling too high or too uncomfortable, then I think that's a sign that you should raise your price point so you feel better about it. So, you know, what if I got five people who signed up for this? If it's your first time doing a group program, five people is phenomenal. But the key here is to just be thinking through, yes, this is my ideal. But kind of bringing it down to, okay, here's a baseline goal and I would still feel good if I hit this goal. This would still be growth for me.
Then what you can do is once you have your ideal and your baseline, you can, you can have kind of an in between goal that would still be a stretch for you. So I think of it as a stretch goal.
But it's not quite as high as your ideal. And so maybe again, just throwing out numbers here, maybe your stretch goal is If I had 12 people sign up for this, that would feel incredible. It's not all the way to my ideal goal, but it's still way beyond what I thought I could do as far as the baseline goal. So that's what I would recommend is if you. Part of, I think the struggle that we put on ourselves unnecessarily is because we set unreal, unrealistic goals. So if there is an area of your business where you feel like there's so much pressure, I would look at your expectations and are they realistic? You know, I've worked with a lot of business owners who are also moms. I work with some business owners who their business is a side hustle right now and they have a full time job. And so we all have these other expectations. Your business is not your life, it is part of your life. And a lot of what we want to do, it takes time and we can only work in the time that we have. And so I just recommend that if you feel that there's any area of your business where it feels like there's too much pressure on you, it feels like you are pushing all the time.
Look at those expectations and see if there might be a way for you to have some stepping stone goals to be able to lighten that burden.
Okay. Another mindset issue that I see or challenge is the idea that this isn't working. This is hard and I am fully on board with honoring yourself and your business. And if there are certain things that everyone's talking about doing, example that comes to mind is reels. When those first came out, I don't know how many years ago, if there is something that everyone is talking about and you're feeling like, nope, that is just not me. I am fully on board with not doing that. There are so many different ways to market your business.
No matter if it feels like the whole world is saying you have to do this to succeed in business, I don't believe that that's true. So the example with reels is whenever those came out, everyone in the business world was saying, you have to do reels in order to succeed on Instagram.
And I saw that and I was like, no, that's absolutely not me at all. Anyone who knows me knows that I am shy. I'm an introvert. I do not like being the center of attention.
So no, that was not happening.
And we're here. Years later, I still have A business. I still have clients. My business has grown. I didn't have to do that. So I'll be the first to say that I don't believe you have to do every single thing you hear online that everyone is doing. However, there are going to be things in your business that feel like at the time you do it, it feels like nothing is happening.
One example would be, you know, if you are posting on LinkedIn.
I think we have these unrealistic expectations that we're going to post something and people are going to find it, everyone's going to comment and people reach out to work with us. We know on some level that's not likely, but there's still that sliver of hope that that's what's going to happen. So we put all this time and all this energy into creating the most perfect post and nothing happens. And that's disheartening. Or we put out one post one day and we get great responses and then we get so excited and we do another one later on in the week and nothing happens. And we can slip into that self doubt of wondering what's wrong with me? What's, why isn't this working? And you know, and thinking, well, I need to find a different strategy. So this one is probably actually better divided into two, but I think they kind of go together. So we can slip into the, this isn't working when we don't see instant results. And also the whole idea that this is hard.
So I think in order to succeed, well, I know in order to succeed, for my own experience, to succeed in your business, you have to be willing to be uncomfortable at times and you have to be willing to keep showing up, keep moving forward, even when it looks like nothing is happening.
So whenever I work with clients, one of the key things that we need to do is we need to have a marketing strategy in place. And there are so many different possibilities for this. You know, I clients that use social media regularly, I have clients that never use social media.
So I never believe that there's one thing that you have to do. However, the one thing I will tell clients and what I'm saying today is whatever you choose, I ask that you commit to it for 90 days. And I'm guessing if you're in the online space, you've heard this before. I don't know what it is about 90 days, but I can say consistently it's worked for me, it's worked for clients.
You can be doing any strategy that you can think of and it can look like, okay, I'm posting and nothing is happening. Or I'm sending out emails to my newsletter, nothing is happening. I'm setting up coffee chats, I'm meeting new people, I'm attending networking events. And right like that day, it doesn't appear like anything is happening. But as you stay consistent with the strategy that you choose, I listed a few there. I would not recommend doing everything. Pick a couple.
If you stick with it, you will start seeing results. I think where a lot of us hold ourselves back, where I have in the past is you try something, you're not seeing results, you get uncomfortable, and so you decide, okay, I'm going to move to something else so I can say this for myself. Posting on social media has always been uncomfortable for me. I don't like being the center of attention. And posting on social media feels like a big old spotlight is on me. Reaching out to people to tell them about my offers, even if they're free, that is still uncomfortable for me.
So what I tell myself is I'm here to help other people. I really believe that when I work with people, I can help them in their business. When I have a free event, a paid event, it is designed to help other people. And there are people out there who need this right now. I think to where I was at the start of my journey and how I wish that I had someone who would make that journey easier for me. And that's what I'm trying to do. And so what I tell myself is this is not about me. It's not about even making money or the offer. It's not about necessarily building my list or hitting certain revenue goals. This is about being of service. And if I am not showing up, if I am not reaching out to people, I can't be of service. If they don't know that I have a free community, if they don't know that I do a free monthly networking call, they can't join us. And if there are people out there right now who really need community, who really need support, who need to feel like other people get what they're going through, and I don't share that with them, then in a way that's kind of being of disservice to. And so what I encourage you to do is one, choose a few things that you can commit to, to showing up consistently, and make a commitment to showing up consistently for at least 90 days, even when it looks like nothing is happening. And when you get into those moments where it feels hard or it feels uncomfortable, try to take yourself out of it and think about the people who need whatever it is that you are sharing. So whether it is a post that is going to offer someone advice that's going to help them, or if it's a post that's going to inspire them, if it's a video that's going to help people, if it is a free offer that you have or paid offer that you have, think about the person who needs this right now and think about your intention for how this is going to help them and get yourself into that space where it's not about you, it's not about what comes to you because you're putting this out there. It's about let this be of service to the person who needs this today. I really believe, I know for myself, if you switch that mindset and you take the attention off of yourself and however you're feeling and you focus on being of service, that makes it so much easier and it allows you to reach those people who need you. We have to sometimes get out of our own way. And that is the process that has worked for me.
Okay, so the last one that I want to talk about today is I see far too many of us holding ourselves back because we are comparing ourselves to others.
And this can be, you know, we're on someone else's newsletter and we, we feel bad because we're hearing about all the things that they're doing and it seems like their business is taking off and we're not there yet. It can be the things we see on social media. I think social media is a big one.
And what I want to remind you, I think this kind of came through earlier when I was sharing kind of my story and my background is we don't know the whole story. What I can say is even those business owners who I worked with who were making multiple six figures when I worked behind the scenes, the business they were working on then, I think for all of them, it was not their first business. They had tried other things before and it hadn't worked out. And I will say the same is true for me. When I first started out, I wanted to be a coach. I didn't know anything about having a business, so that didn't work out. But through trial and error, I found myself to being an accidental virtual assistant and it grew from there. And so the other thing I will say is I think we all know this, but it's easy to forget most of what people are posting online that you are seeing, whether it's in an email or it's in social media. Or a video that someone is doing is what people want you to see. And so it's not the whole story.
I cannot tell you how many coaches I've worked with who they would post their numbers. This isn't happening so much now, but it used to happen. They would post their numbers and tell people how much revenue their business was making. But then behind the scenes, I was seeing how much they were spending on different things. And there were a lot of people out there where they weren't actually making that much of a profit because they were spending so much in their business.
I can also think of a coach who I really looked up to and I thought she was going to help me grow my business. And then I realized that because she spent so much in her business, even though I wasn't making nearly as much revenue, my profit was higher because I was mindful in what I spent my money on. And so I just share that. Just not that money is everything, but just when you get caught up in how successful some people are, just remember that you're not seeing the whole picture.
The other thing I want to say with that is that I really.
So there are two sides here. One is when we see that I think it's natural for us when we see that to question ourselves and doubt ourselves and to feel. Feel like we're not doing as well as they are, even though we have to remember we're not seeing the whole picture. So I think on the one hand, we need to protect ourselves from that. So I fully support, you know, to stop following people where if you start seeing their posts and you notice that your mood is dropping every time you see their posts, stop following them, or if you read their emails and you notice that every time you read their emails, you feel worse about yourself and your business. Unsubscribe. I fully believe in supporting yourself by surrounding yourself with people who encourage you, inspire you, support you. And anything that you are reading or watching or following that is making you question yourself or holding you back in your progress, just be willing to pause that in your life. It doesn't mean that you have to never follow them again or never learn from them again. It just means that for right now, it's not supportive for you, so you're going to take a pause. So I think that's a really empowering first step. And the other piece, which I think is more important but it's sometimes harder to remember, is that their success, one, it really has nothing to do with you, but two, it doesn't mean that you can't be just as successful.
So if you've followed me at all for a little while here, you know that I will frequently talk about building a business that supports what matters most to you. And so I think it's very easy in the online space to hear certain numbers and it seem like, oh, everyone's supposed to be hitting these numbers in order to be successful. And so we have to pull ourselves back to remind ourselves what really matters to us. What matters most to you right now? What does having a successful business look like you right now? And I keep putting right now in there because that's going to change over time, depending on where you are in your business, depending on what's going on in your life, what successful business looks like to you is going to evolve. And so I encourage you, whenever you find yourself getting caught up in not feeling like you're successful, to pull back and remind yourself about what success looks like to you.
And a final reminder there is, if you are listening to this, I'm trusting that you are a heart centered service provider. You, yes, you have a business, you need to make money. That's part of having a business and just being able to support yourself. But you're here because you really want to help people. And I know that right now, in this very moment, there are people in our world who need you. They need your work and they need the service that you offer in exactly the unique way that you offer it. So no matter what it is that you do, if there are a million other people offering the same thing, no one else is going to offer it exactly the way that you do. And there are going to be people in our world who need you and your unique gifts, your unique voice and style that can help them in a way that only you can. And so I just want to encourage you, whenever you get into that place of comparison of self doubt, to remember the people who need you and to be asking yourself, what can I do to help them today, whether they're paying me or not, what can I do to be of service today? What I have found for me is whenever I get down and I still have days like that, sometimes still have moments of self doubt. Because I really believe every stage of business you're in when you're doing something new, that those mindset issues are still going to come up for you and we have to learn to support ourselves through it.
What I have found for me is that whenever I'm in that place of self doubt, of questioning myself, of feeling like nothing is working, questioning everything I'm doing. If I again come back to who am I here to serve? What do they need right now and how can I help? And then I act on the ideas that come to me. It makes it so much easier to get out of that place of feeling stuck, of feeling overwhelmed, of questioning everything, and so much easier to get into service. And then when you're of service, that's when things start to flow in your business. So I want to be mindful of everyone's time. I know we're going a little bit long today. I thank you so much for being here. If you want additional support in the Show Notes today, you can join our free community connect with over a hundred other Solopreneurs in our the Solopreneur Sisterhood community. It's a free community. You can connect with other people. We have free monthly networking calls, some free trainings in there. Would love to have you join us. I also this quarter have a few openings for one on one work with clients. So there will be more information for that in the show notes as well. And I would love to support you.
[00:31:23] Speaker B: Thank you so much for joining us and listening to the Solopreneur Sisterhood podcast. I hope this episode has offered you some encouragement, some insight and some new ideas to support you in building a business that works for you. Remember that our world needs you, your gifts, your vision and your work.
[00:31:40] Speaker A: And I'm cheering you on as you.
[00:31:42] Speaker B: Bring your vision to life and build a purposeful, profitable and sustainable business that supports what matters most to.
