[00:00:05] Speaker A: Hello and welcome to the solopreneur Sisterhood podcast. A podcast designed to help heart centered service providers like you build a purposeful, profitable and sustainable business that supports what matters most to you. I'm your host, Becky McCleary, and I am so grateful that you are here.
[00:00:24] Speaker B: On this episode of the podcast. I am so excited to have our very first guest. Today we are talking with Gina Torres Perryman. Gina is a life design coach who has worked with over 500 individuals from around the world, helping them navigate life and career transitions. She specializes in guiding clients through the stress of change while helping them to figure out their next steps in life. Gina embraces diversity, recognizing that every person has a unique story, and she believes that everyone deserves to live a life that they love. And Gina and I connected a few months ago and I absolutely love her. I love her energy. I am so excited for you to learn from her. I really believe that most of us listening to this podcast, we did not create businesses because we wanted to really be business owners. We created our businesses because we wanted to be able to help people in a certain way. And also we wanted to be able to support ourselves in living a certain lifestyle and having certain freedom and flexibility.
And I believe that if we are clear on the life that we want to have, if we're clear on where we want to go, that makes it so much easier to build a business that supports that bigger vision. And so that's why I think that Gina and Life Design and what she's going to talk with us about today is going to be so helpful for us in designing businesses that support what matters most to us. So with that, let's get started.
[00:01:53] Speaker C: Welcome, Gina. I am so excited to have you join us here today. I cannot wait to learn from you. But before we get started, I would really like to start by learning more about you. So can you tell us more about what you do and how you found your way to this work?
[00:02:09] Speaker D: Yeah. Great. Well, I am a life design coach, and that means I work with people who are trying to figure out what direction they want to go in your life.
So, in their life. Sorry. So people who might be going through big life changes, Right. So like a career pivot, they are retiring, maybe they're going through a big breakup or divorce, their kids have left home. So these. These big life changes. But I also not only work with people going through life or career transitions like that, but also people who are just feeling like they're unfulfilled in general, like they feel like something needs to change. They Want more of something, but they're not sure what. They might just need some sort of reset or like a reinvention or a refresh or of some sort. And so what I do is when I say life design coach is I work with them to create a life that they're excited about living, filled with purpose, that brings meaning and connection.
And like, you know, life design goes a little bit farther. And I can probably talk about this later, but more than just setting goals and how to get there, but it's. We're going into some deeper work of sort of meaning, life purpose, things like that, to really be grounded in, you know, so the change that you make or want to make actually stays, and it's really going to be the change you want.
[00:03:34] Speaker C: I love that. That. Yeah. As you're talking about it, I definitely think two times in my life where, like, that would have been exactly what I needed. I'm wondering, is there something like, how did you find your way into this work? Was there something that happened for you that led you to it, or. Or how did that come about?
[00:03:51] Speaker D: Yeah, I love that question. So my journey into this work started when I was working at a local community college. I was an international student advisor, actually. Really enjoyed my job, loved the population.
But I attended a one hour as a staff development workshop. It was over Covid. So we're doing lots of things virtually. It was a virtual workshop. I don't even remember the title of the session or the name, but during the call, the gentleman there, he had us go through a personal mission statement. So he guided us through. He had a whole format. And so, like, I had never done anything actually quite like this. You know, I've done things like career exploration, like strengths assessment, things like that. But, like, in this particular exercise, we were answering questions like, what do I love to do? Who do I want to serve? How do I want to make an impact?
Who do I want to make that impact for? So, you know, that was a very new way of approaching this.
So not only that, the facilitator, his name is Bill Johnson. Just, like, his enthusiasm around the subject and his passion, like, really got me excited. What about this exercise is like. It just. It's almost unexplainable. So it's just like, I think when you're around someone that's passionate about what they're doing and they really believe in it, like, that has an effect on you. So that, you know, it just. It had an impact on me. And so, okay, that was great. I loved it. And it was about A year later, I was still at the same college, but I was in a new role. I had transitioned to be a student success coach. And Bill actually came to the college to do an in person workshop over a couple of days. And I just remember like, oh, that's the guy that did the mission statement, you know, exercise on that call. And I, you know, I'm super excited, like if that was good, I wonder what this is going to be like. So at the time, Bill was actually the coordinator of the Life Design Catalyst center at UNC Greensboro. And he taught a course called Designing youg Life for first year students to help them figure out the direction they wanted to go. You know, like just. But also it's that deep work that I had mentioned before, like the meaning and the purpose along with it. Not just like, oh, that's a major and I'm going to earn this much money.
And so evidently Life Design wasn't a thing. Well, Life Design was and is a thing and I just had never heard it before.
Just a side note is that Life Design work actually comes out of the higher education setting from counseling students. And so that's why there's actually some Life Design centers around different colleges, college campuses in the U.S. so, you know, it goes deeper than just choosing that career. But anyways, I just a little bit about Bill, I just want to add this in because like anyone that knows Bill Johnson, like he lives and breathes life design and life purpose work. And so over the years he's created tools like exercises people can do, like the mission statement exercise, he created that.
And so he uses these tools to do this self discovery, this deep work. And you know, one really valuable one is designing your values.
Some other ones are like your personal life story. Like how does that work into where you are now? There's a seven word life motto, personal superpowers. So it's these sort of exercises I was doing in this workshop that where I really got some clarity and direction and what I wanted to do. And so finally getting to how I got into this is that I realized I wanted to be a coach. I think I had been researching it over Covid and I was like, yeah, that looks super cool.
But not only that, I remember in the final day and you know, ending up the workshop sharing out some of us who wanted to share it out. And I remember just like, specifically like it's very vivid in my mind saying I want to do what he does.
And what I want to do is like lead groups and workshops and form community for people who are Trying to find their purpose and meaning. So that is my how I got to be a life design coach.
[00:08:23] Speaker C: I love that, and I love how it wasn't something that you sought out at first. Like, it just kind of showed up for you, but you paid attention to that interest and that spark, and you followed it through, and it led to this whole new path for you.
[00:08:39] Speaker D: Yeah, it's amazing.
[00:08:41] Speaker C: So if someone is listening right now and they're thinking, okay, that sounds really interesting.
I think this is probably a new concept for a lot of us. I know for me, I never thought about designing my life. It was just kind of. I don't know, things kind of happened. I had certain things that I planned for, like, the career path that I thought I wanted to be on. But I can also say that I found myself in my mid-20s and realizing I had done everything kind of the way I thought I was supposed to do it and not really thinking about what I wanted. And so that's when I went on this, like, path of searching and trying to figure out, what do I want? And so I can imagine that there are people listening now who are in that place where maybe even things look good on the outside, but it feels like something isn't quite there. Something is missing. So where do you recommend they start? Is there an exercise or a process for helping them to find that clarity?
[00:09:39] Speaker D: Yeah, absolutely.
What I say and how I work with my clients is start with where you are.
And really, the key is to.
And I think the key just for life design is accepting where you are. Like, recognizing it.
Not just thinking about, oh, where I wish I was or where I should be. Just accept where you are in the moment, be kind to yourself, and don't shame yourself into change. And so I recommend, like, a couple of exercises that might be helpful if someone's like, this is resonating with them. Is that really. You know, I attended the workshops and things like that, but if you're by yourself, I would recommend setting out a space of time and, like, an environment where you can actually get quiet. Because life is filled with so many distractions, right? Like our phone. And, like, I'm really. I struggle with that myself. But if we really just, you know, accept where you are and go to a place with no distractions and quiet, and you can ask yourself, start asking yourself some questions, like, what feels fulfilling in my life? What do I want more of in my life?
Another one. You know, these can be really powerful. Another one is, what can I release or let go of? That would actually help improve My life, you know, sometimes we're just going along and you know, with all the things we need to do and not really assessing and, you know, reflecting on it. So, you know, and the other piece is, and this is what I work with my clients about, is just like being honest with yourself and allowing yourself in all honesty to answer these questions. And I think too, don't get scared about your answers, right? Sometimes we don't want to be honest with ourselves because we're scared about what it means or what we have to do or we get overwhelmed. Right. So it's just like you're not making any commitments, you're just brainstorming and you're getting to know what you need and want. One other thing I might suggest, if I might add on, is it's kind of similar, but I have that here. I was going to say it's something kind of wild. It's not really wild, but to actually sit the same sort of idea of you might not want to do at the same time. If you have the time and space and the mental energy, yes, but it's just to sit and dream. So there is someone. When I started my journey into my business and social media, person I was following was Carrie Green. She's very successful just with just her business. But I'll never forget one of these YouTube videos I watched and she was sort of leading, you know, guiding through in this video of how to dream and envision and think about a life that you would love to have. And I think so many of us, it's like, well, I could never do that. I'd never have enough money or there's no time, right? But like, who's to say we can't dream about it, right? So just, you know, give yourself some space. I encourage you to sit down and think about like a life you would absolutely feel so fulfilled in. Like, what would you be doing? What job would you have? How are you feeling? Like, who's with you? Just get really specific, you know, and that's just another very interesting exercise, even just to get the juices flowing and just that curiosity. Curiosity is another big piece of life design, I think. And if I just wanted to sort of wrap this up and just sort of review what I just shared is the starting point, I think, is quieting the noise, especially what you mentioned, a big thing I think so many of us do where there's so many shoulds put on us. We should do this, I should do that. I've got to follow this path. You know, this is what happens Next. But we don't have to do that, right? And then give yourself permission to be curious about what you really might want deep down and not, you know, what I said, not what someone else wants for you or you should be doing. And then be honest about what you want your designed life to be until it's like. And another huge piece component is to remind yourself that you're worth it.
Because if you don't believe you're worth it, there will be some self sabotage along the way. So that's like a whole nother conversation. But I encourage people to tap into that. And you know, that's where I support my clients as well.
[00:14:17] Speaker C: I love that. And I think, you know, I like the idea about giving yourself permission to dream because I. And the idea that it's not making a commitment just to have these ideas. I know, like, I've had times when I'm afraid to even think about what I might want to create because.
Because of what that would mean as far as what would have to change in my life. And then I have to remind myself, okay, I'm not actually doing this right now. I'm just thinking about possibilities. And then you can make decisions from there. And I think there's something to like when you start to give yourself this time to actually think about what you want. At least for me. Sometimes it's a case that when I sit down to think about it, ideas are just not coming to me. But then throughout my day, inspiration will come up for me. So I think there's something almost magical about just allowing yourself to ask the questions and then your brain kind of works at it as you go about your day and new ideas and inspiration will come for you.
[00:15:20] Speaker D: I love that, like you don't have to be sitting in this moment, right? But just opening yourself up, that could be a first step. But continuing to stay open and curious. I love that because as we're doing different things throughout the day or having different experiences that will remind us of things, you know, maybe in our past that we enjoyed doing something as a kid, you know, so that's a really good, good add on thing to remember.
[00:15:44] Speaker C: Well, and I love the part you mentioned too about letting go of some things because I think that's something that a lot of us tend to forget is that we feel like if we think about all the things that we want to create in our lives, it can feel really heavy and partially because of everything we already have going on. And I think I at least have a tendency to be like, this is an addition this is not like. It's not. You're taking something away and you're adding this. It's just adding on. And that can feel too heavy. So sometimes just a change of letting go of some things can also. That can be enough to make a difference. It's not always creating something new.
So I'm thinking back as you're talking about this. I can remember that time when I had young children and I was trying to figure out what do I want to do with my life? Because I realized the plan I had wasn't something I could see myself doing for decades as far as continuing to be a teacher. But I had had that dream of being a teacher since I was a little kid, and I had never really considered anything else. And so I found myself, I remember sitting in a therapist's office and she was asking me what I wanted, and I was like, I don't even know what I want.
So if someone is feeling stuck or they feel like they don't even know what they want, do you have recommendations for how they can start moving forward?
[00:17:08] Speaker D: Yeah, for sure.
I'll start with the piece that you mentioned where you were about just not really sure. And so it goes back to that, like, being curious, allowing yourself to, like, be curious without having that pressure of having to decide. I think there's so much of that pressure just from our society and just what we're used to, how we're used to operating. So, you know, part of being curious. Well, you know, there are certain things you can do in that is like allow yourself to do some different, have some different experiences or, you know, do some. Some out of the ordinary things that you normally wouldn't do that you just wondered about, like different activities or environments, but without the pressure of committing. And, you know, the stuck piece, I find a lot of people really struggling with that. And it's important to think about why someone want to be, why someone might feel stuck. And there's a couple of reasons, and one is like, you just don't know where to start.
You might be overwhelmed by all of the choices and you just shut down. I mean, I kind of do that in my life. Sometimes it's just like I can't decide. There's too much. Right.
You might not have the confidence that you can actually follow through with and get what you, you know, you set out to do or you want. And you might think you're not even ready for the change. Right. Because change is uncomfortable. We're usually learning something new. Right? We're doing something new. We're afraid. And this is to the last part too. We. Some people might be afraid of making a wrong decision, right? But like, that's just part of life is living and learning and figuring out what's going to work and what's not. So I actually learned something recently through I was been reading some books. And so the books are on topics of worthiness, self confidence, hope and success. Right. But there was this one common theme I keep coming across and I'm not looking forward, it's just kind of happening. But the common theme among all these books is action. And so, like, how taking action is very powerful and extremely relevant, especially to someone that's feeling stuck or uncertain. Because it's like, first of all, you're getting out of your head and you're stopping that constant spiral, like the thought spiral of like the indecision and the fears, wondering if you're doing something right. Whatever. Right. But, you know, by doing this and like, even, you know, taking action doesn't have to mean, like, you have to like, go sign up for a course or like, quit your job. Right? It can be what I mentioned before of like, just sitting down and thinking about what can improve your life, you know, what you might want to do, you know, something very simple. Trying a new class. You know, like something that you're exposing yourself to different things, but just, you know, making a decision to take little steps forward. And really that's going to give you.
Shift you from being stagnant and like, give you some momentum.
[00:20:24] Speaker C: I love that so much. And I'm sitting here and I'm like, Where were you 17 years ago? Um, because I remember realizing I don't. This is not what I want as far as a career path. I don't know what I want though. And I definitely put the pressure on myself be like, well, I can't do anything until I have a clear path forward. And so it. It was probably over a year where I was kind of reading books and listening to audiobooks and just kind of seeking and searching, but really feeling stuck because I didn't know where I wanted to go. And so I was holding myself back because I felt like I can't do anything unless I'm really clear on where I want to go. And looking back, if I had tested some things out or tried to make a little bit of forward movement on something, I probably would have sped up that process, but I just didn't. I didn't know that at that time. So I think that's really helpful. And then another thing that comes up for me is this idea of resistance. So I know that for me, almost anytime I want to make a change in my life, it can feel like little obstacles or sometimes bigger obstacles show up. And I know that I've spoken with other people who sometimes will worry that if those obstacles pop up for them, that's a sign that they're not supposed to be on that path.
And for me, I have just chosen, I guess, to view it as, it's okay. This comes up and it's more of a, how much do I really want this? Do I really want to keep moving forward with this? Do I care about this enough to keep going even if it's not easy, even if there are challenges, even if I have to figure out my next steps because the original plan didn't work. So I'm wondering if you have recommendations for people who maybe they do have a clear idea of what they want and they start moving forward, but life throws them a curveball or something changes. Maybe their plan A didn't work out and now they're wondering what to do. What recommendations do you have for kind of adapting with those obstacles that come up?
[00:22:39] Speaker D: Yeah, that's really good. I first want to say, to the point of having this resistance when you're starting something and then thinking that if it's hard or it's challenging or if you have to find a new way of doing things, that that's a sign you shouldn't be doing it.
I don't agree with that. Not that that's, you know, maybe that will happen, but anytime, like I said before, like, change is hard. And so I think that's just part of life, right? When you're learning to do something new, like, I guess think about, like, a child that's learning how to walk, right? Like, he doesn't just get up and walk. How many times does he fall down? And, like. And he's actually. He might hit his head once and cry, right? Like, it's really traumatic.
That's, you know, the natural progression that. Right? That's what happened. So you could think of the change in your life in that certain way of, like, okay, I'm learning how to walk. I'm doing this new thing. I'm being brave enough to open myself up and try this. And so give yourself some credit, right? Like, give yourself some. Like, just the understanding that there will be resistance.
It's not always going to be easy. Doesn't mean you can't do it. You know, I was actually someone that was raised, and, you know, my mom was like, well, if it's hard, you don't have to do it. And like that. I kind of.
That's tough for me now as an adult sometimes because it's like, oh, well, something's hard, I shouldn't try it. But, like, that's not the case, right? Like, we can do hard things. And I think that's where support systems are very important. And so to your point about maybe some things that might happen, like you, you work with me, or you do a workshop, or you do your mission statement. You have your goals, you're designing your life, and then life happens, right? So I just was reading this book and this, the overlap is. And the timing is great. So the book is called Life is in the Transitions. The author is Bruce Feeler. I'm not quite sure if I'm saying it's correctly, his name correctly, but he's basically talking about, you know, all the transition in life, but that life is not predictable. We all know that as much as we want it to be and want to be in control, because control. And when we have a plan, things, it feels good and we know what to expect, right? Our brains like that. But he reminds us that life is not predictable. And he talks about how our life is filled with these disruptors. And so it's like, ooh, disruptors. So disruptors are just like everyday events or experiences that affect the flow of someone's life. So for example, like you're in a car accident, someone gets sick, a relationship is broken. It's even, you know, it can even be good things like you're starting school, you're giving birth. And then, you know, recently for us there's, you know, there can be events, a natural disaster, you know, the hurricanes, political events. So we will experience disruptors. He actually says in the books he did a lot of research and doing some getting people's life stories. The average adult will experience one life disruptor every one to two years. So instead of being like, oh my gosh, what's going to happen to me? Like, that's just part of our lives, right? And so understanding that I think is really key. Just like this whole idea of acceptance and just like living into, you know, these realities, but that, you know, when these disruptors happen, you can be prepared and you can in a way of like, okay, not being, try not to be so, like, put off. That doesn't mean you can't still work towards your goal. Maybe you need to reassess and, you know, even if there's not life disruptors, there will be Times, then, you know, in life design, it's important to know that you can reassess and realize, you know, actually, I'm shifting. It's okay. I mean, that should be actually part of the process. Is this really what I still want? But in the idea of the disruptors or the reality of it is whether you want the goal or not, like, it shifts. You may need to change the way you're going about it. So I think it's again, that acceptance of what's going on. And then another key part of life design is just this connection and support networks. So that really is going to be key in these, you know, these life disruptor situations where we're put off or we're feeling unsure again or something like that, you know, and then that's how I can come into. Right. Like support people. And that's kind of. It's kind of like an interesting. Like, those are the people I'm helping. Right. The people in these life transitions that are figuring out next steps.
[00:27:30] Speaker C: So I love that. And yeah, as you were talking, I was like, this is where it would be so helpful to have someone like you who can help figure out those next steps. Because I think sometimes it's hard figuring stuff out on our own. And also we can kind of almost block off the possibilities in front of us because we get so focused on, you know, maybe the problem that has just happened or a change that is coming up or things like that. We're so focused on the problem that we can't see the possibilities. And so that's where I think having a coach could help us to just open up to those other options and kind of find our way forward. So, yes, I really appreciate that. And I also just want to say, I know that our listeners are business owners, and I really believe.
I don't think that any of us started a business because we really wanted to own a business. I think it was more about how we wanted to help people or how we wanted to live our lives. As far as, you know, for me, it was. I wanted to be more available for my kids. I wanted to be more present with them. And having a regular day job didn't work with that.
So that's how I kind of found my way to where I am.
So I believe that life design is really important as far as getting clear on what you want your life to be like, and then the business can help support that. And so I would just like to say, if anyone is listening and you're. You're not really clear on what you want your life to be like or how your business fits into your life. I think talking with Gina could help you get that clarity. So that way the work that you're doing is actually creating the life that you want to be living and you're enjoying that. Otherwise, I will say from my own experience, when I wasn't clear on what I wanted, I had a time where I basically just created a job for myself because I was working all the time. I was working in the evenings, I was working on weekends and I wasn't happy. And I think it was because I was doing everything that I thought I was supposed to be doing and I lost sight of the bigger picture of what really mattered to me. So I am so grateful to you know that you were able to join us today and share some of your expertise with us. And I also want to be mindful of everyone's time.
But I know that some listeners are going to want to learn more. So we'll include links so for how people can contact you in the show notes for this episode. But before we go, can you tell our listeners more about how they can connect with you?
[00:29:58] Speaker D: Absolutely. You can email
[email protected] Becky, I know you're going to put that in notes so you won't have to remember that you can find it there. You can follow me on Instagram or DM me through there. It's @ginathelifecoach. And another option is to go to my website, ginathelifecoach.com I have a way for you to just really easy click on a schedule button to we can get on a 30 minute free call to talk about whatever, talk about life design, talk about something that's going on. In addition to that, I'm very excited. I am going to start having a monthly community call virtually. I think I'm going to be doing this in person too. So if you're in the Triangle area of North Carolina, I will let you know about that in person. But I do want to start some virtual calls where we can just kind of ask me anything, get support, talk about sort of a certain topic, maybe do like a little mini coaching session. So yep, that's where I can be found.
[00:31:00] Speaker C: That is amazing. Thank you so much. And for everyone listening, we will have those links in the show notes so you can easily connect with Gina and continue to learn beyond this episode. Thank you again, Gina. It has been wonderful having you join us here today.
[00:31:14] Speaker D: Thanks so much for having me.
[00:31:17] Speaker A: Thank you so much for joining us and listening to the solopreneur Sisterhood podcast. I hope this episode has offered you some encouragement, some insight and some new ideas to support you in building a business that works for you. Remember that our world needs you, your gifts, your vision and your work. And I'm cheering you on as you bring your vision to life and build a purposeful, profitable and sustainable business that supports what matters most to.
